It's that time of night when the television stops showing programs and becomes just an image with classical music playing in the background... I find this is the first time all day that I've paid any attention to it at all... in spite of it having been on all day. (I've had it on quite simply for some background noice to drown out the neighbours. Somehow people laughing makes me want to retch at the moment. Silly, I know.)
It's playing Bach's "Air". I love this piece... it feels like a requiem of sorts, like everything is drifting just slightly beyond ones grasp.
It's calming. My inside's been raging all day, like someone's been screaming inside my head...
The hallucinations are back. Intellectually, I know they are hallucinations but at the same time I don't think it whilst they are happening. It's a little strange, I usually don't get them too bad when I'm depressed, maybe it's a sign I'm getting worse... what would I know.
I suppose I should call up my doctor, but she's useless. Since moving back here I've barely seen her at all (there's been one excuse after the other) and if I try to get an appointment I'll have to wait weeks... which is silly since if I wait weeks things might be totally different. Stupid woman, I don't like her. I miss dr. Sabine, she was the best.
Oh, Chopin. I think they must be playing for me today, all my favourites are on.
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